Monty Python and the Holy Grail: A Poem
by galaxysong9
Summary: Rated for Sir Galahad. 'Nuff said. This took me about 3 months to write, and's 5 pgs on Word! My best poem.


Monty Python and the Holy Grail: A Poem Disclaimer: I don't own Monty Python. The six geniuses (Eric Idle, Michael  
Palin, John Cleese, Graham Chapman (RIP ;_;), Terry Jones, and Terry Gilliam) do. I wrote this poem a loooong time ago, when I had nothing else  
better to do in class, soooooo here it is. Now.  
On with the show!  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Now listen to my tale  
of Monty Python and the Holy Grail  
In which they encounter a man-eating bunny  
And King Arthur has no money*  
The Knights of the Round Table go to jail  
*The budget ran out  
  
Look at the Knights of the Round Table  
Where are they to go?  
With coconuts instead of horses  
Nobody can know  
  
King Arthur rides his noble steed  
How he does walk  
He inquires of brave knights  
But French won't talk  
  
He waits there getting insulted  
'Till he wants to bash them o'er head  
Then Bedevere uses his brain  
And finds a plan instead  
  
He creates a wooden rabbit  
And has them go and get  
Inside and open the French fort  
But then the knights forget  
  
Sir Bedevere, Arthur's noble friend  
He is the only one  
Together at the very end  
The rest, they are all gone  
  
He racks his brain for answers  
Thinking he is very smart  
The rest all know how dumb he is  
Cause he's a stupid tart  
  
Sir Launcelot, the brave and bold  
You can depend on him  
If anything somehow goes wrong  
The knight to call is him  
  
He gets a note on an arrow  
It strikes Concorde's front  
He finds the note's a call for help  
And hurries to the hunt  
  
Launcelot massacres  
An entire wedding  
To assist the person who plead for help  
But does not know who he's getting  
  
Sir Galahad, the pure knight  
He seeks the Holy Grail  
Although he gets it in olden works  
Alas, not in this tale  
  
Caught in a storm one dismal night  
He seeks to find a shelter  
But when he sees the so-called Grail  
His mind goes helter-skelter  
  
He charges up to Castle Anthrax  
And bangs upon the door  
And then he meets some teenage girls  
Approximately eight score  
  
He asks "Where is the Grail?"  
They give him all their fateful plea  
But when they get him in a bed  
He knows that he must flee  
  
Brave Sir Robin is not quite so brave  
As Launcelot, and proved it  
When he saw the Three-Headed Knight  
And thought to run was fit  
  
The minstrel's song gets frightful  
Although its cheery tune  
Along with the triplicate signs on the road  
Robin knows danger's coming soon  
  
He soon meets up with the Three-Headed Knight  
And sees a speared man or two  
The three heads get in a large argument  
And Robin flees before it's through  
  
Bedevere and Arthur  
Meet up with the Knights of Ni  
They put up a bold front  
But are actually trembling in the knee  
  
The two knights have a task  
Complete or they'll hear "Ni!"  
Arthur and Bedevere  
Need a shrubbery  
  
The quickly arrive at town  
And say "Ni!" to an old woman  
Roger the Shrubber comes up to them  
And he starts fuming  
  
Bedevere and Arthur  
Have a shrubbery  
Only to find that  
The Knights are no longer Ni  
  
Those two valiant knights  
Almost draw their sword  
Sir Robin comes up oblivious  
And repeatedly uses a damaging word  
  
The group of three meets up  
With Launcelot and Galahad  
They snack upon the minstrels  
Whose singing is driving them mad  
  
They come upon a mysterious man  
With extreme powers  
Tim is the name by which he is called  
And his fire will singe all the flowers  
  
He leads them to a dangerous cave  
The Cave of Caerbannog  
With a beast so cruel and fierce  
It could bite through a metal log  
  
They find before the cave a rabbit  
Tiny, white, and scared (it looks)  
It immediately bites Bors' head off  
And they retreat to check the books  
  
Then Launcelot has a fine idea  
And Arthur quickly agrees  
Brother Maynard retrieves it  
And the knights get it by degrees  
  
The weapon is the Grenade of Antioch  
And they get a very long tale  
About counting to three and not any higher  
But Arthur almost completely fails  
  
The rabbit destroyed they are free to go  
And enter into the cave  
They find the last words of Joe of A  
And quickly is tested their brave  
  
They go until the Bridge of Death  
And try to answer the questions three  
They try best to no avail  
And only three walk free  
  
The last to attempt to cross  
Search everywhere in vain  
Attempting to find Launcelot  
But he is lost again  
Two that are left have discovered  
An old, cobwebbed Viking boat  
Arthur and Bedevere climb aboard  
And to an island it does float  
  
They run aground on the island  
And see the Castle Aaugh  
They quickly run up to find the Grail  
And instead see the Frenchman's mug  
  
Arthur moves up his hidden army  
And commands them all to charge  
It seems it will start a very large fight  
But Arthur is arrested by Sarge 


End file.
